I’ve felt bad not writing more. I haven’t even called much. My first two years in Thailand were filled with weekly calls to family and friends and nearly weekly blog posts. It’s been nearly 6 months in Thailand this time around and I’ve only called a few people.
On the one hand there are tangible reasons for not calling as much. The various phone cards of times past no longer work; Skype is less of an option because I usually leave my computer at the office and when I do take it home, the thin walls of the Nest provide little privacy for my loud phone-talking voice. But I haven’t been as diligent in emails or blog posts either.
The last year has been a time of change and growth; a time of self-discovery and learning. To borrow Kegan’s language, my past life has utilized a socialized way of making meaning. The meaning of relationships, love, peace, hate, evil, and everything in between has been something I’ve acquired from a variety of external sources. People, books, religion have all created a patchwork lens through which I understand and make meaning of the world.
But life’s changing.
I’ve started journeying through questions; throwing out all answers and starting fresh. I’ve gone to the edge, looked out into the unknown, and decided to jump. It seems slightly reckless – and perhaps it is – but that’s okay. It is what it is. It’s a type of leaving and letting go; searching and knocking.
I’m sorry to those I haven’t been in touch with as much, most notably my family and close friends. Know that I love you all. Let the journey continue.